“More Than A Woman?”

An interview with Becky Yee
By Cristina Ayala


Photo: Becky Yee


Leave it to Japan to produce the most technologically advanced sex doll, more commonly referred to as a ‘Dutch wife’. Artist Becky Yee, gives us access through her exhibition, "More Than A Woman," to the self-proclaimed largest collector of Dutch wives, who houses more than 80 silicon brides.

Bongoût had the opportunity to speak personally with Ms. Becky Yee, a Chinese-American artist, who recently moved back to New York after living 9 years abroad in Tokyo, Japan. Speaking from her Manhattan apartment, we discussed in detail the "More Than A Woman" photography series. This project was recently debuted at Hpgrp gallery, in New York.

Bongoût: How you were first introduced to ‘Dutch wives’?

Yee: At the time, I was working with a TV crew. We were on assignment researching a story. We went to a production company called Atwoods. Here they were manufacturing lifelike silicone beauties, which are known in the industry as ‘Dutch Wives’. This place was incredible! They were manufacturing high-end dolls valued at $10,000 each, out of a small 2-bedroom apartment! Each doll is made to order. You can choose their eye color, hair color, breast size, face etc They construct each doll to the client's concept of ideal beauty. However, there are restrictions that some countries will impose upon your decisions. For example, in Japan, dolls cannot have pubic hair, but in Europe, you can have any variation you like!

Bongoût: How did you feel the first time you were alone with or sitting next to a Dutch wife?

Yee: It’s quite strange, you find yourself treating them like a real human. Because of this very real physical presence and likeness, I found myself immediately attaching a genuine human emotion to the doll. Before touching her, I thought, Should I ask permission first? But of course, I wanted to compare how her breasts felt to how mine feel!

Bongoût: This series was photographed in Japan. What can you tell us about the society, and your interpretation as to why Dutch Wives have become such a phenomenon over there?

Yee: In Japan, there is this need for perfection. It is one of their driving forces. The ambition is always to take it to the next level, to make it better, to improve, to make it perfect. Technology drives the future, and in this case, with Dutch wives, Japan has out done themselves with incredible innovations.

These dolls are not only anatomically correct in scale and weight, but the high-end models are made out of silicon, which will retain heat. You are advised to first take a hot bath with your doll. This will warm and soften her. The breasts and butt are completely flesh like, made with water inside. You can really grab a hold of them and jiggle them like a real butt! It’s incredible!

This Japanese standard of perfection, of course, is interpreted into the ideal woman as well. In true Anime style, the ideal would have the face of a 12 year-old girl, be forever young, have DD breasts, a small waif-like body, doe eyes, would be at your beck and call, and of course, be a superhero! Some men think, “This is my ideal woman, I am in love with that cartoon character, I am going to look for that in a woman.” Obviously it doesn’t exist, it is fictional. However, these Dutch wives can fulfill that need. There has been a great trend in the popularity of Dutch wives. At one point, there was an actual boom in rental agencies that delivered!

Bongoût: Delivering Dutch wife rentals?

Yee: Yes, can you imagine?! I picture a young schoolboy trying to make some extra wages picks up a job delivering Dutch wives. He picks her up, sets her on the back of his scooter, puts on her helmet, and delivers her to the next stop!

These dolls are rented by the hour, just like a prostitute, and you can imagine how this opened the market to all those who wanted to experience them but couldn’t afford $10,000. Currently, the trend for this service has subsided, but it still exists.

Bongoût: How does this standard of perfection effect Japan’s youth?

Yee: For the most part boys and girls schools are separated. The only contact and knowledge many boys have of women is through the media, so what can we expect? They are afraid of making mistakes, you have to be perfect at all times. There are over 20 million people living in Tokyo. At one light change at Shibuya crossing, 5,000 people might navigate across the street without any pushing or shoving. These unwritten high laws of respect are regarded at all times.

For the Japanese, interacting intimately does not come easily. While they are so close to each other, constantly right next to one another, they in a way, must construct a sort of barrier of respect for others privacy. So there is a fear of impeding on someones personal space. This idea of respect hinders creating intimate moments, for instance, a man be afraid of even talking to a woman to even simply say hello.

In Japan, they are so polite. They are like machines, they go to work, they go to school, and that’s it. There is a phenomenon there, that some 40 year-old men have had no true intimate contact with, or personal conversations with an actual woman, and this collector is a perfect product of all of that.

Bongoût: How did you connect with this particular collector?

Yee: I frequented a fan website for Dutch wives. Writing undercover, I played the role of a connoisseur of dolls, and got an intimate glimpse inside the head of these men.
The site first originated as a place to go for advice, including maintenance, such as cleaning and repair for your doll. There are chat groups you can join where men will swap stories of how to fix a doll if you break her arm or leg since there is no shops to repair them.

I met many men through this site, but the most interesting to me was the one I decided to work with. He is educated, successful, and career driven. So why is there a need to have Dutch wives? And not just one, but 70 or 80!?

After speaking with him, I learned that he is a spokesman for his cause. He desired to see the flipping of his sub-culture, to have it become acceptable to the public. This is why he agreed with interviews, and was willing to share his story as long as I did not show his face.

Bongoût: At this point, who is it that he can speak with openly about his lifestyle?

Yee: He only speaks openly with the people he meets online. And of course, it takes time for him to build up trust before he would meet anyone in person. However, he has quite a network of men, and some evenings they all meet out at a restaurant and bring their Dutch wives along.

Bongoût: As I understand then, you two were in contact for quite some time before meeting one another. What was the experience like when you actually stepped into his world?

Yee: To begin with, he is living in a 3-bedroom apartment. Now, this is the lap of luxury in Tokyo, but then, close to 80 bodies are living in this space. As I came in, there was no individual introduction to each doll, rather it was just, “And these are my ladies!”

Before I got there, I had thought about staging my photos. Setting the dolls up in arrangements, but once inside, I felt that it was important to instead collect the real daily life situations. What I observed and photographed was more intimate, more accurate.

Of course, there are the obvious sexual reasons he collects these dolls, but being there made me curious about what was behind this. In my work I am always exploring the spaces of public perceptions vs. private emotion, and in this instance, he was sharing his secrets with me. I think it is too easy for someone to quickly judge, to quickly label "What a freak, he's so creepy" I prefer to raise questions.

Bongoût: Can you describe some of these photographs, and what you see?

Yee: One of my favorites is of him hugging an adolescent sized doll in a Alice in wonderland outfit in his kitchen. The dolls resting her head on his shoulder, its a very intimate moment.

There is a quote in my book, “I have never known a moment so pure, and full of intimacy and tenderness, could be so disturbing.” I think this sums it up.

I see a man that is so pure, and innocent emotionally, who genuinely loves these dolls. He caresses their faces and whispers, “I love you.” “You are so much more than a woman.” “You are so beautiful and you too are so pure.”

Honestly, he is just a man, who has desires, who needs to feel safe, who wants intimacy and companionship. And somehow he is unable to find that genuine relationship in human beings. In his companions, he has faithfulness, they will not cheat, they do not complain, he does not need to buy them dinners, they offer security. Around them he can be completely himself, they do not judge, they are forever young, and as he himself says, “If I ever get bored with them, I can just change their head.”

But then you step back and say, "but this doll looks like a 12 year-old girl. He could be a pedophile." You have to ask, where do the boundaries lie? Do we prefer him sleeping with a 12 year-old doll and not a real girl? Or, could he get used to this, and build up his confidence to actually sleep with a real 12 year-old girl? Or, if he stays with dolls, and is happy, who are we to tell him otherwise?

Bongoût: Hmm, if he gets bored, he can simply change her head. So they can be taken apart and reassembled?

Yee: Yes, depending on the model and their innovations, some parts can be swapped. This must offer a dual satisfaction. At one moment you can be loving her, and the next dismembering her. He has stockpiles of human doll parts, it’s unreal.

Bongoût: Well, I’m sure we would all, at one point, like to swap one part or another from our partners!

蓼食う虫も好き好き

Bongoût would like to thank Becky, and we all wish her future successes.





Photo: Becky Yee


Photo: Becky Yee